Wednesday, 15 April 2015

I Chose My Kids


After I finished my studies, I happened to land a job at a private college as an architecture lecturer. I didn't plan on becoming a lecturer in the first place because I wanted to practice architecture and work at a firm. Only after I took the job I realized that I loved teaching! And I knew that if I worked at a firm things would be even tougher if I got married and had kids because of the workload and stress it comes with. So I decided to stick to teaching. 

Once I had Juhd(my first baby) working became quite hard for me as I couldn't quite focus at work. I kept thinking about my baby at home(even though my work place was just like 3 minutes away from home!) At that time my husband was the one who took care of Juhd while he was working from home(I know, wow right). I would get to see them during lunch break and even that wasn't good enough for me. I wasn't happy working anymore. I thought of all the precious moments of Juhd's first-everything that I might miss(first word, first roll over etc). And it broke my heart every time to see Juhd cry as I left for work in the morning.

So after I got pregnant with my second baby, I made a vow to quit my job of 4 years and be a SAWAHM(stay and work at home mom,yes I totally made that up) after I give birth. I just couldn't bear the thought of leaving my kids for work ever again. I want to be there for them every single moment as they grow. Because truth is, I only have one shot at motherhood. And I want to do it right. My kids are going to be this small only once. I will have plenty of time for work in the future when my kids are all grown up and independent. 

When I told my husband that I wanted to quit he couldn't be happier. He had always preferred that I stay at home from before we got married but it was always me who felt the need to develop a career. He was always supportive of my decisions regardless.

So here I am, working from home while I get to see my kids grow in front of my very eyes. Alhamdulillah. Words can't explain how contented I am with my life right now. I can spend my days teaching and educating my kids just like my own mom used to(I never went to kindergarden/pre-school). I get to wake up every morning only to worry about entertaining my kids and what would be our menu for the day, now that I cook everyday bahaha!*domestic goddess alert!* I love being a SAWAHN. I finally feel like a supermom. Its like a normal mom, only awesome-er!

Yes, that's Qomar's head and Juhd's hand in the frame :D




Outfit:
FCC Cosmetics Mascara
QairaHijab 
CalaQisya Khayla Jubah
Sofina 3
All from Fashion Valet


Till then! Any SAWAHM's here?
xx


Sunday, 29 March 2015

Love To Dress


 So I was going through my archive and realized that I seriously need to revamp my blog content. I mean, yes I started off blogging just for fun and pretty much to share outfit details/inspiration. But as I've matured(chewahh) I feel that I should try writing more seriously in order for me to grow as a better blogger and insaAllah provide ya'll with more fun and beneficial content.

Please tell me, what would you like me to write more about? Motivational stuff? Family? Kids? Motherhood? Food recipes(ok probably not) urmm travelling?

Please let me know in the comments section okay! I would really appreciate the feedback!<3






Outfit details:
Scarf : ThalassaOfficial
Dress : Fashion Valet (LoveToDress)
Clutch : H&M
Shoes : Fashion Valet (Melissa Shoes)


Remember to shop at Fashion Valet now until 31st March 2015 and get special 10% off when you enter AISHAHFVMARCH discount code upon checkout. It’s a storewide discount except for brands Daniel Wellington, Sofina bags and dUCk Scarves
xx


Monday, 2 March 2015

Motherhood : Expectation Vs. Reality



Honestly for me, going through motherhood the first time with Juhd was quite a struggle, especially the first month! Everything was hard the first time; learning to breastfeed, learning what to do when Juhd wouldn't stop crying, learning that I wouldn't be getting proper sleep for the next 1 or 2 years, and a whole bunch of other stuff! But as months passed everything definitely got easier and easier, Alhamdulillah. It was just a matter of getting used to a new life schedule.

After giving birth for the second time with Qomar, everything really did get easier(handling only Qomar that is) But handling TWO small human beings at once was a whole different story. Luckily I have Fiq by my side and he is wonderful with the kids. But when he's working and not around to help, things can be a little overwhelming.

Imagine having spent half an hour on breastfeeding Qomar, then another half and hour putting her to sleep only to be waken up by her big brother throwing toys to the wall or stomping on the table. -_-

And then there's the guilt of feeling like I'm not spending enough time with Juhd. It does get me all emotional because Juhd is still small and needs my attention. I really do miss spending more time with him and trying my best to make sure he doesn't feel left out because of the new addition to our little family.

Me being a mother means balancing between maintaining a clean house, getting all chores done, and keeping the kids happy and entertained while keeping my sanity

I am a blogger and part of my job requires me to promote clothes, events, services etc. Before I had kids, taking a simple OOTD photo was no biggie. I could take my own sweet time, take as many shots as I pleased(camera memory card constantly full with my pics) that used to really annoy Fiq bahahaha.

But after having kids, to take a decent OOTD photo requires a lot of strategizing. Because one moment Qomar is crying, then the next Juhd throws a tantrum or needs a diaper change. By the time they're both asleep(which is close to impossible during the day) then only I can finally get that OOTD shot(also if nothing was spilled on my tudung/baju). So yeahh everything really does require extra effort when you have kids.

Case in point:
I was promoting someone's makeup services. In the left photo which I posted you will see a picture of me calmly smiling and control-ayu-malu-malu-beruang. But In reality what I was doing is calming a crying Qomar.



See what I mean? Getting a good OOTD shot isn't that easy when you have your kid photobombing you all the time. So whoever says my outfit shots are still nice even after two kids, please know that there is a lot that goes behind it! LOL

If you're expecting, keep calm and don't freak out. Motherhood is totally awesome no matter how tired or how much you need to multi-task at one time. There is so much to look forward to when you have a child. I love being a mother more than anything in the whole wide world. And you know what they say..If you ain't tired, you ain't doin' it right!

P/s: I love my kids.

 Till then!
xoxo

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Cherry Blossom


Wazaaaaaap..! So I was in Penang over the weekend visiting relatives and of course a little bit of Nasi Kandaq and jalan-jalan laaa. It's been a while since I last traveled (because let's face it, it ain't that easy travelling with two small kids y'all!) Plus I had my sisters and mom travelling with me so it does help when you have one(or two!) extra hands.

As per usual, I brought along with me some new stuff I just got from Fashion Valet. Let me start with my personal favorite, the dUCk scarf. Ok I totally get the hype now. Once you own a dUck, you're bound to get another. Period. This cherry blossom dUCk from the peachskin range is super light and super comfy yet not see-through. So you don't need to wear an inner. Score! Next time I might try and get one from the crepe shawl range. mihihihihihi.

Second item I got was this floral jumper. I own a lot of plain stuff so I thought it would be nice to wear some print for a change. Also, I've been wearing a lot of pink lately(what's up with that?) Hmm. So not me. Could it be my motherly instincts making me more girly.....?? oh well. *pasrah*







Till then!xx


Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Baby #2 : The Labor Story




Oh my..It's been some time since my last blogpost! What can I say, mommy duties keepin' me very busy these days. Did you guys miss me..??!

*krik..krik..*



I really wanted to share my second birthing experience with y'all and now I finally have the time! Wohoo! If you've never read my first birthing experience with Juhd, HERE it is.

My second experience giving birth was a lot different than my first because I had been scheduled for an induced labor. Just in case you're not familiar with induced labor, it is a process whereby some sort of pill will be inserted into your vagina and it starts/creates contractions in order to pretty much FORCE the baby to come out. (forgive my bad explanation oh medical people)

Honestly, I really wanted to wait for the baby to come naturally without being induced but doctors kept scaring me with horror stories of still births caused be overdue/prolonged labor. The first time with Juhd, I was also overdue and given 10 more days to wait for a natural birth. But that was only because at that time I didn't have GDM(gestational diabetes mellitus) or otherwise known as diabetes semasa mengandung. If you have GDM, doctors won't allow you to go beyond the 40weeks limit because risks of baby being too big and other complications that might be dangerous to the mom and baby.

Anyway, the day I was scheduled for induction, we went straight to Hospital Putrajaya as I had a (considered) good experience there with my first baby. But when we got there we were told that there was no room in the hospital for anymore patients and that I'd either have to come back tomorrow or try a different hospital. I couldn't really decide so we went to eat and stroll in the park instead!LOL.

As I was finishing my Nasi Goreng and Teh Ais(oh man sedap la pulak), I said to my husband 'Ok-lah, we go to hospital Serdang-lah'. And of we went to Hospital Serdang.

Upon arriving, I could see the hall was quite crowded and the atmosphere was a little intense. One women was crying and holding her tummy looking like she was ready to give birth. Another pissed-off-looking man kept asking the person at the front desk if he could go in and see his wife. The person at the front desk was talking to people in a very annoyed tone. It was not a good start to my night at all.

After checking in and waiting about 30mins, I was brought to a transition ward for monitoring of baby's heartbeat as well as a series of VE's. There were no signs of labor yet and my cervix was still closed. That went on for about 2 hours or so.

It was 12 midnight. I told my husband to go back home since it was already late and I wouldn't be induced yet, at least not until the day after. Just when I thought I was ready to be brought to the ward, I had to wait at another transition room with nothing but a few sofas because the wards were full. Basically I had to spend the night sleeping on a sofa. If you were a heavily pregnant lady, you would know how uncomfortable it feels to sleep in that position.

This is where me and a few other heavily pregnant moms had to sleep

Finally, after hours of waiting I finally got a bed in the maternity ward or whatever it is they call it. And that was basically approaching Subuh! At that point I was already tired because I couldn't sleep at all given the uncomfortable sofa to rest my head throughout the night. So I slept the whole morning once I got a bed.

At 2pm, I was induced. After 20 minutes or so, the contractions came slowly. The first 4 hours of contractions was quite a breeze. Not that it didn't hurt, but this time around I was more prepared and really practiced my breathing techniques, and that helped a lot in dealing with the pain. At that time I could still whatsapp my friends, scroll down instagram and do a bunch of other stuff while 'layaning' the contractions.

By 7pm, I couldn't eat anything because the contractions were getting stronger and really intense. My energy level also went down as I couldn't eat anything. I vomitted on my scarf. The nurses were not at all helpful as they just watched. When I asked for help to remove my scarf only then one of them came to my assistance. At that point my cervix had only dilated 2cm.

By 11pm I was already silently screaming in pain. Doctors checked my cervix and I was 5cm dilated. Only at 12-ish was I brought to the labor room but I was left alone in the room with no one but a bell to ring in case I needed to call the nurse/doctor. My husband had also been informed that I was about to give birth but being wrongly informed by the security officer, my husband was told that I wasn't there and he was not allowed into the labor room.

I rang the bell a few times and a nurse came with the worst attitude ever. I told her I was in so much pain and that I was ready to push but she kept scolding me saying that NO you're not ready to push yet without actually checking my cervix even once!

This went on repeat about 3 times(me ringing the bell and the nurse coming to scold me saying I was not ready)

The converstaion went a little like this:

*rings bell first time*
*a nurse enters*


Me: Sakiiiit..saya dah tak tahan..sakit sangat.. *mata asyik ke atas menahan sakit ya amat sambil meraung*

Nurse : Puan..! puan jangan macam ni! *angry tone* Puan belum nak bersalin lagi!

(dalam hati aku : ehhh aku yang nak beranak ke kau yang nak beranak)

Me; Sakit sangat dah..tak tahannnn...arghhhhhh...*meraung*

*nurse leaves room*

*rings bell second time*

Nurse: Puan..kenapa puan?*angry tone*

Me: Sakiiiit..dah tak tahan sangat2..saya nak teran..

Nurse: Puan..puan tahu kan bersalin ni sakit?! Puan jangan macam ni!

*leaves room*

*rings bell third time*

Me: Saya dah tak tahan sakit sangat...! *meraung kesakitan*

Nurse: Puan..puan jangan macam ni! Puan belum nak bersalin lagi, puan jangan macam ni!

*rings bell fourth time*

*a different nurse enters*

Nurse: Puan..puan kenape?..*firm but soft tone*

Me : Dah sakit sangat tak tahan..saya rasa nak meneran *following my instinct*

*nurse checks my cervix*

Nurse : Ok puan angkat kaki dan pegang, puan cuba teran.

So apparently my instincts were right. The moment I really wanted to push was the moment the baby's head was already coming out. The first push, baby almost came out but the push wasn't hard enough, so the baby went back in and I splashed water all over the nurse! It was indeed messy! The nurse didn't cut anything(no episiotomy) this time and with 2 very hard pushes, my baby came out under less than 3 minutes. Even the nurse said that was quick!

As soon as the baby came out, the nurse showed me that it was a HER and put her straight on my chest. I almost cried and after the nurse was done with all the other procedures, I said to her:

'Thank you doctor..' *with a warm smile* (At that point I thought both the nurses were doctors because they were wearing a different garment!LOL)

Then she replied:

'Saya bukan doctor, saya misi je' *smiled back at me and left*

So yeah.

That was my second experience giving birth. Quite horrifying to say the least. If you're planning on giving birth at a public hospital, please do consider other hospitals other than Hospital Serdang, especially if it's your first child. I understand that everyone's experience is different, but I've heard so many unpleasant stories about this hospital. I don't blame the staff for their poor service, I understand that their job is hard. And I respect all doctors and nurses for choosing to serve the people. I think the problem there is that the hospital's staff are overworked. That might be the cause of such poor treatment due to work stress. But seriously they should employ more staff so that nobody else will be the victim of over-stressed employees.

On a happier note, my baby is healthy and is already 2 and a half months!:) Meet my little princess, my mini me, Qomar bt. Mohd Shafiq. (Qomar means moon:))

Qomar at 3 days old:)


Share your birth experience with me in the comment section! Was it a good or bad experience??
Till then!
xx